Do you have any idea how many times I've been in a locker room, chillin, looking at myself in the mirror, flexing, stealing paper towels and toilet paper and soap from the dispensers and so on, only to be visually assaulted by an ancient old man's withered ball skin and dong.
Washing my hands I turn around and BAM - old balls right in my face, mere inches away. I close my locker door and on the other side ZOW - ballsack. Locker rooms these days are like hideous jungles of shriveled, atrophied old man junk and I for one am not going to stand for it any longer!
Look old guys, I'm sure 90 years ago when you were in your prime your franks n' beans were majestic and awe inspiring displays of divine architecture, but now that you're in your 120's they have been stricken of their former splendor and now resemble hanging bags made of turkey skin with two lead walnuts inside and an albino hot-dog that has been microwaved for far too long.
Old men, nobody likes your crotches anymore. Not even you. Do the world a favor and just get rid of all that business you got going on down there. You're never going to need it again anyway. If you do this then when you die in the not too distant future, you can die knowing you saved young, virile, handsome men like myself from the emotional damage that occurs every time we're forced to gaze upon your meat. You can die knowing you made the world a better place.
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